I Am In Misery
by KAthwhoasky
Summary: Kurt Hummel is a loving father who gets a promotion and has to hire a nanny. Blaine Anderson is the perfect man for the job. There's one problem. Kurt might be falling for him. Things progress from there.
1. Chapter 1

**HELLO! So this is my first fic so I would really appreciate your feedback and please don't be too harsh! I also upload this on tumblr so if you want to follow me you can at you-move-me-kurt(dot)tumblr(dot)com**

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><p>Kurt Hummel is a dedicated father in every way imaginable. Since the moment he laid eyes on his daughter he understood why he was put on this earth and his life finally had a purpose, a meaning. For the past 4 years she had been his entire life. He thought of nothing but his little baby girl, his princess.<p>

But lately he had been feeling a tiny whole in his heart, the place where his own dreams lay. Not to say that he cared for his daughter any less, or resented her in any way. On the contrary, he actually felt mad at himself for thinking of anything but his little Elizabeth.

Elizabeth.

When the time came for picking the name, he eventually settled on his mother's, the one woman he looked up to most before she was taken from him. He called her Ellie for short. His little Ellie.

He had also been feeling in regards to his love life. On his many adventures with Ellie in Central Park, when he say people holding hands, he knew there was something missing in him and longed for the day when he had a companion in his little family. Sure, in college he had had some boyfriends and the occasional fling, but when he had graduated and he realized he wanted a family, he set out on his quest alone.

Kurt was sitting his brilliantly decorated apartment living room, with it's high ceilings and modern furniture. Kurt had picked out the apartment with his father when he had realized he wanted a family and had fell in love instantly. He had decorated it by himself, picking out every corner of fabric and every inch of floor. The whole house was completely modern, except for Ellie's room. When he worked on it, he had taken special care to make the perfect room for her. It was princess themed, with enough toys to stock a toy store.

However, she was only spoiled in love. She was also incredibly intelligent for a 5 year old girl.

contemplating this when a certain little girl called from her room upstairs.

He bolted up immediately ran upstairs.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He called softly as he reached her princess-themed bedroom and knelt by the side of her bed.

Ellie was the cutest 5 year old in the world. She had auburn hair that went past her shoulders, eyes exactly like Kurt's, never deciding which color they should be, and a laugh that you wished you could put in a jar and listen to when you were having a bad day.

"I had a bad dream," Ellie whispered softly back to Kurt.

"Oh honey," Kurt cooed. "You know what helps me when I have a bad dream?"

"What?" Ellie asked.

"Telling my very best friend," Kurt said as he poked his daughters belly on every word, making her giggle.

"Can you just sleep with me, Daddy? I don't want to be alone," Ellie pleaded, giving Kurt the full force of her eyes, which decided to be gray in the dim light from her nightlight.

"Of course sweetie, scotch over," Kurt said as his daughter lifted up the pink comforter to make room for him.

He put his arms out and Ellie relaxed int them, her head on his chest.

"Dreams are really nothing to be afraid of. It's just your brain telling stories, and sometimes your brain needs to tell you something, something you haven't though of in a while, or something you've been avoiding, and it might even been something you're afraid of, and that's when nightmares happen," Kurt explained in a soft voice.

"So my brain need to tell me that monsters exist? But you said they didn't!" Ellie accused.

"No, you're right, they don't exist," Kurt chuckled softly. "The message might have been hidden deeper." Ellie's eyebrows knitted together at this so he continued, "for instance, what was the monster wearing?"

"I think it was like what that guy on TV wears when he helps the sick people?" Ellie said, crinkling her face in a way that made Kurt melt as she tried to remember.

"Hmm..could this have anything to do with your doctors visit next week?"

Ellie made a little O with her mouth at Kurt's words and sunk lower in his arms. "I know you told me there's nothing to be afraid of but I can't help it."

"I know how you feel, when I was your age I was afraid of my dentist," Kurt said, stroking her hair absently.

"You were afraid, Daddy?" Ellie said like she couldn't believe her little ears as she looked up to her father in wonder.

"Sure I was! Daddies can get scared too, everyone can." Kurt told her.

"How did you stop being afraid?" Ellie asked.

"Well, your grandpa gave me a very good piece of advice," Kurt told her. "He said 'Fears are okay, unless they work against you'."

"How else do fears work?" Ellie asked, eyebrows going together again as Kurt smiled down at her.

"Instead of shying away from your fears, you can use them and make a sort of deal with yourself to not be scared, and that makes you a stronger person, get it?" Kurt asked her.

"So I can not be scared by just telling myself that I'm not scared?" Ellie wondered.

"That's exactly right. If you do that, nothing can stop you from doing anything you want to," Kurt told her.

Ellie smiled at this before yawning into his chest.

"You think maybe you should try to sleep more, sweetie?" He asked her.

"Not tired," Ellie yawned again and closed her eyes.

"Yeah, sure," Kurt laughed softly.

Kurt was feeling sleepy himself suddenly, so he sank deeper into his daughters bed and settled in.

The next morning went like every other morning. Kurt quietly slipped out of Ellie's bed and to start breakfast. Since he had more time, he decided to do something fancier. Crepes. A favorite of his and one Ellie loved as well.

As he mixed the ingredients together, he began to go over his thoughts from last night. He found himself wondering if he'd ever have someone to cook with, another loving father for Ellie. Kurt knew as much as his daughter told him that he was all she needed, he still wanted to fill that gap for her, for he himself had grown up with just a dad as well, and though his dad was amazing in every way, he still felt that he missed out in only having one parent.

He put the first batch of crepes out on the counter, and went to wake Ellie.

They both ate a lovely breakfast and were out the door within the hour.

Ellie's school was only about 4 blocks from their apartment so they always walked. It was a beautiful day out, lots of busy commuters walking around them trying to get where they're going under the bluest skies imaginable.

They reached Ellie's school and Kurt stoped to kiss her forehead.

"You have a good day, princess, okay? I'll be here right when you get out. And remember what grandpa told you last week?" Kurt asked her.

"'Nobody pushes the Hummel's around'," she recited, straightening her back.

Kurt chuckled at her and relaxed her shoulders. "That's exactly right," Kurt said before hugging her one last time and waving goodbye as she ran into the building.

Kurt smiled to himself as he began the journey to the bus stop he always used to get to work. Before Kurt had Ellie, he was on his way to being the exact place he wanted to be in his career. Editor of the _New York Times_. But having a daughter made his aspirations seem less important so he had declined the offer and now, while he still worked for the newspaper, he worked for the decidedly more boring column, the obituaries.

It wasn't that he hated what he did, in these times he was just happy that he had a job. But lately, now that Ellie was a bit more grown, he wished he had another shot at his dream job. After a twenty minute bus ride he reached the_New York Times_ building.

It was times like these, when he looked up at the tall buildings of New York with the blue skies above them, that he still couldn't believe that he made it here. He got our of Lima. He was in New York. He had his own family. His own job. This was his dream, he was living it.

He entered the building through the shining double doors and rode the elevator up to the 23rd floor where he found his same small desk he went to every day in the same room where he shared the space with 5 other writers. It was the smallest office, with tiny windows that emitted little light, and cluttered desks that made you claustrophobic if you looked at them too long. Once he sat down with his usual coffee from the pot at the far right of the room, he noticed a sticky note on top of his list of obituaries he needed to write today.

The sticky note read:

**Robertson needs you in his office!**

**ASAP!**

Mr. Robertson was the editor that had gotten the job after Kurt had declined. He was a nice enough guy, for an editor that it.

Wondering what on earth this could be about, as he rarely talked directly to his editor, he made his way back to the elevator and clicked the very top floor.

When he reached the floor he went directly to the secretary's desk in front of the room that had the name plate:

**Mr. L. Robertson**

**Editor**

Kurt went up to the secretary, who's name was Hannah, a very pretty girl who probably could have been much better things than just a plain secretary, and told her that Mr. Robertson was expecting him. She nodded and presses a button on her phone and told her boss that he was there.

"Send him in, Hannah," he answered through the phone.

"Go on in," she told Kurt sweetly.

"Thank you," he smiled at her and made his way into his boss' office.

"Kurt! How are you son?" Mr. Robertson asked as he shook his hand.

Kurt found it both creepy and annoying that he called him "son" when he was pretty sure they were the same age. Nevertheless he answered,

"I'm doing just fine, and you?"

"Oh not so great, I'm afraid. I'm in a bit of a pickle you could say," Mr Robertson sighed.

"Oh?" Kurt asked politely.

"Yes. You see, I've been getting a bit restless in New York as of late. So much so that I've been sending my resume to different newspapers in different states, and just yesterday I received word that they have accepted me into a very prestigious one in California, which brings me back to my pickle." He sighed again and paused.

Kurt was getting more confused by minute, he had no idea why he was telling him all this. He was just about to ask when Mr. Robertson started talking again.

"So, Kurt, it is my understanding that you were offered my position before me but declined due to personal matters, is that correct?" His boss asked.

"Yes, that's correct.."

_Oh my god, _Kurt thought as he finally realized where this might be going, _could this be happening? Could I finally be getting my dream job back in reach?_

"Well, as editor, if I were ever to leave I would have my pick of whoever I wanted to replace me. And I can tell by your writing that you don't belong behind that obituary column, you belong in the desk I'm sitting at right now." He smiled at Kurt and then continued, "So, Kurt, what do you say?"

Kurt's head was spinning. He couldn't believe this was happening. His dream life was at his finger tips. But there was one thing gnawing at him. He knew the hours of an editor were much different then those of his job now. Late and long nights. He already had a sitter for Ellie in the afternoon but this would mean a full day on-call nanny. He still wanted to be a big part of his daughter life, but he needed this, he needed something for himself, and only for him. This was his dream. He knew Ellie would understand.

"Kurt? You there, son?" Mr. Robertson was gazing at him.

"Yes! Sorry about that, I guess I'm having trouble wrapping my head around all this.." Kurt shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

"Listen, Kurt, if you're not sure I could find someone else out-of-building you know," he told him.

"No! No, I want it. I'll take the job!" Kurt exclaimed, jumping out of his chair and shaking his boss' hand. "Thank you, thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me, thank you!"

Kurt practically skipped out of the office and went right up to Hannah, took her hand, and kissed, making her blush. Then he danced to the elevator humming to himself, getting weird looks from the people around him. He didn't care. He felt like he was in a fairy tale. When he got back to his office he immediately dialed a number on his phone.

A familiar voice answered. "Hey bro!"

"Finn! Guess what my editor just told me?" Kurt sang into the phone.

"Everyone that's famous in the world died so you can never leave work again?" Finn asked.

"Oh my god Finn. Don't really guess. I GOT THE EDITORS JOB!"

"No way dude! That's so awesome! Wait...what about Ellie? Isn't that like a full-time jig?" Finn questioned.

"Yeah I guess I'm going to have to hire a nanny," Kurt answered.

"You know I'd do it man but I live in Ohio so either you'd have to move here or I'd have to move there and I really like my job so..." Finn said.

Kurt laughed under his breathe. "That's okay Finn, I understand," Kurt was suddenly struck with a thought that made his heart sink. "Finn..do you think I'm being selfish? Should I have turned down the job?"

"You know, I really don't dude. You've spent Ellie's whole life putting her first, now it's your turn. She'll understand. She's a very smart little girl. Smarter than me most of the time. You can find an awesome nanny. Just don't fall in love with him, I saw a movie like that once and it didn't end well," Finn warned him.

"Thanks Finn but I haven't met many male nannies so I wouldn't worry about that too much," Kurt chuckled as he played idly with the pens on his desk.

"You never know, dude. So how are you gonna do the interviews?" Finn asked

"I think I'll just put a private add in the paper, or put signs on telephone poles. Either way, I have to do it soon. My boss is leaving in a week so that's all the time I have. Actually I better get on that. I'll talk to you later, Finn."

"Alright by bro, and congratulations," Finn said and Kurt could hear his smile through the phone.

"Thanks Finn, 'bye."

Kurt put the phone back and spent the rest of the morning making posters that read "nannies wanted" with information on how to contact him.

When it was time to pick Ellie up, he printed out as many fliers as he could and left the building, planning on walking there so he could put them up on the way to her school.

He was 5 blocks away, with only about 4 fliers left when something strange and amazing happened.

Kurt was posting a poster on the telephone pole nearest him when he felt someone walking up behind him.

He turned around and almost dropped everything he was holding as he was greeted with the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen staring back at him. It was hard to tell if the eyes were green or hazel but he knew they were beautiful, with the longest eyelashes he had ever seen to compliment them. He had a mop of dark curly hair on top of his head that was incredibly untidy and was a bit shorter than Kurt, which Kurt didn't mind at all.

His mind was in such a whirl from this beautiful man in front of him that he didn't even notice when the man talked to him until he waved a hand in front of his face.

"Hello?" The god-like man asked, laughing. The laugh seemed to bring Kurt back to earth somehow.

"Oh!" Kurt finally got out of the deep pool of the mans eyes long enough to realize what was happening and was now incredibly embarrassed. "Yes I'm sorry, um...can I help you?"

"Yeah I was actually just looking at the sign you were putting up, you're looking for a nanny? I'm Blaine." The man told him.

Kurt almost got lost in the man called Blaine's beauty again but caught himself just in time to answer. "Kurt," he held out his hand and Blaine took it, electricity shotting up Kurt's spin at the first touch of the calloused hand, and he quickly let go. "Yeah I am, I just got a job promotion and need someone to look after my 5 year old girl." Kurt had no idea why he had just told this complete stranger so much about himself, only that it felt so right that he barley questioned it.

"Nice to meet you Kurt. I'm actually looking for work right now and I'm great with kids. I just got out of a daycare job so I'd love to be your guy!" He smiled again and Kurt though he would have done anything this man asked, he was damn charming, almost annoyingly charming.

"Well I'll have to see your references and I might want to look at some other people but if you want to give me your-shit! What time is it?" Kurt suddenly exclaimed.

The man checked his watch. "11:20, why? What's wrong?" Blaine asked, alarmed at Kurt's sudden outburst.

"My daughter got out of school 10 minutes ago!"

Kurt had never been late in getting Ellie. In fact, he made it a habit of getting there early. So he started running. And Blaine followed. He wasn't sure why he followed, but he had this feeling that if he let this man go, he might regret it.

It was clear that they had reached the school when Kurt slowed down, and Blaine watched the scene as it played out before him.

Kurt didn't stop running until he saw the little girl that was obviously his. She had the same beautiful shade of brown hair as him and the clothes he picked out were very stylish for a 5 year old, like the man's.

He ran up to her at the same time she yelled "Daddy!" and then both reached for each other at the same time. He picked her up and twirled her around, whispering something Blaine couldn't hear. The sight made his heart melt and made him feel something in his stomach that he couldn't put his finger on.

Kurt didn't set her down as he apologized to the teacher that had been waiting with her.

"Oh Ellie, I'm so sorry princess," Kurt said as he began walking in the the direction of Blaine without realizing it.

"Were you scared? You must have been, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," Kurt chanted as he snuggled his daughter closer and closer, kissing all over her face. The girl began to struggle and giggle at her fathers movements.

"Daddy I'm fine!" She breathed and started laughing harder as he began to tickle her sides.

Blaine's laugh seemed to interrupt Kurt and he looked up from Ellie, finally realizing the man had followed him.

Kurt didn't put Ellie down as he walked over to him.

"Oh I didn't know you were still there," Kurt apologized.

"That's quite alright." He smiled at Kurt before looking down at Ellie, "And who's this?"

Kurt nodded at Ellie, urging her and telling her it was alright.

"Elizabeth Hummel," she answered in her most dignified voice. "But everyone calls me Ellie."

"Oh wow, what a pretty name," Blaine smiled down at her. "Tell me, do you have a favorite princess?" he asked, noticing her princess back-pack. "Because I'd say mine was Ariel."

"Yeah, she's okay, but I like Jasmine better," Ellie said.

"Oh yeah, and why's that?" Blaine asked, looking curious.

Ellie dropped her voice down low and signaled for Blaine to lean forward. "I really want a pet tiger, but my Daddy only lets me have a cat."

Blaine frowned and said, "Well, I'll see if I can get him to reconsider, alright?" he winked before looking back to Kurt, who was watching their interaction with a soft smile on his face.

"So would it be alright if I gave you my number and you can call me if you don't find anyone else?" Blaine asked

Kurt looked at Blaine and thought about how good he really got off with Ellie right away. He knew this was the guy. He could forget his attraction because it was best for Ellie.

"No, I don't think that's necessary. I think I'd like to hire you but I still need you to see the house and we can do the rest of the interview there? Could you also tell me your last name?" Kurt asked.

"Anderson. Blaine Anderson." Blaine told him.

_Blaine Anderson might just be the death of me, _thought Kurt.

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><p><strong>Well, there's the first chapter! Hope you guys enjoyed! Please rate and comment, it would mean a lot!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**WE MEET AGAIN! Wowza you guys are amazing! Thank you so much for your reviews, I really appreciate it. **

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><p>"So where do you guys live, anyway? Lower east side?" Blaine asked as they started off in the direction of Kurt and Ellie's apartment building.<p>

"No, I actually looked for one down there at first but I settled for one just a few blocks from here that I fell in love with," Kurt explained.

"Did you always want to work with children?" Kurt asked, holding Ellie's hand tighter as they crossed the busy street, with the sun in full blast now.

"Not exactly, but working with those kids in that place...that was it. I realized something within myself I never guessed was there. I was a struggling, and starving, artist when I found the ad for the daycare and thought it would just be a good day job, make a couple bucks. I never thought it would turn into my life."

Kurt noticed something in the Blaine's eyes every time he mentioned his last job that made his heart melt and his knees bend. His heart felt so light and his eyes felt like they could never leave the hazel-eyed man even if he wanted to. He didn't understand why this was happening to him. The one time he actually noticed another guy and he had to be working for him! What had he gotten himself into..

Kurt managed to regain his stature in time to ask, "If I may ask, why did you stop working there? I mean if it made you so happy?"

"That's a good question," Blaine smiled without happiness, looking away from Kurt. "As much as I loved those kids, and I really did, I was still starving. The pay was really not enough to pay my rent and for the way I wanted to live at that point in my life. So I had to leave. And I did, and now I work waiting tables on the weekend, so not that better, huh?"

"Hey, we all have to do it, right?" Kurt wanted to wipe that sad look off this beautiful man the moment in appeared, though he hadn't remembered ever having this easy and reveling conversation with a stranger in his life. Wanting to know where Ellie was in all of this, he looked down at his daughter to see her little face gazing at Blaine with a cross between confusion and pity.

"Yeah, I suppose," Blaine sighed. "But I never thought I'd be that person, you know? I never thought I would just stop working somewhere I loved because of money."

"I don't think you should beat yourself up about it. It's done, right? And now you get a chance to meet a lot of other great kids," Kurt smiled and brought Ellie's hand clasped in his up in the center of them to emphasis his point.

Blaine smiled back at him and nodded as Kurt suddenly noticed where they were.

"Oh! Here we are!" Kurt told Blaine.

The building itself was something to look at. It was 30 stories high, with all-glass windows that reflected the blue cloud-filled sky perfectly. The doorman tipped his hat to the three of them as he opened the door with a 'Have a nice day'. Which Ellie always responded very comically with a solute and a 'You too, sir'. Blaine smiled at this and Kurt just rolled his eyes fondly at her as they made their way into the elevator at the end of the lobby.

"This is a great place you picked out here," Blaine told Kurt as he pressed the '16' button and the elevator started moving.

"Oh, you haven't seen anything yet," Kurt smirked as the elevator opened and he made to get out his keys.

Blaine's first impression of the two bedroom apartment was that they must have accidentally stepped into a mansion crushed into this small apartment. The decorator could only have been Kurt. He had barely known this man an hour and could already tell that he demanded the best and he obviously got it. Everything was modernized and fresh with the best taste in mind. There were a couple of barbies and a play house in the corner but otherwise it was the cleanest place Blaine had ever set foot in.

"Yeah I guess I really hadn't seen anything, huh?" Blaine laughed.

Kurt laughed and said, "I'll show you around once I get Ellie some lunch, make yourself at home. What do you feel like today, princess?" Kurt said, helping her off with her back-pack and placing it on the floor by the love-seat in the living room connecting the kitchen and picked her up and carried her over to the stool by the counter.

"Whadaya got?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

Kurt put his elbows on the counter and leaned so that their for heads were touching and said, "Well we have grilled cheese, we have apples on the side, and we have a glass of milk to go with it. How does that sound?"

"Deeelcious!" Ellie told him.

"Great. Coming right up," Kurt rubbed their noses together and then pushed off the counter and started getting the ingredients together.

Blaine watched all this and thought his heart would turn into a puddle on the floor. However these two got together, he knew that fate or whatever was up there had sent them into each others arms and that's where they belonged. It made his heart ache for something and hope for something at the same time.

Blaine came and sat next to Ellie while Kurt was cooking. He started asking her questions, questions about school and just meaningless things. He had such a way with her and he could already tell that she loved him. Ellie wasn't a shy kid and never had been, but you could tell the way she interacted with Blaine that she would be just fine spending everyday with him.

"Lunch's up!" Kurt said as he presented Ellie with the most elegantly presented lunch a five year old had ever been presented with.

The apples looked like they had been cut with a ruler and the grilled cheese, though it hadn't been cooked on a grill, had perfect grill marks. Though Blaine was blown away by the plate, Ellie wasn't surprised. She accepted her lunch with a 'thank you'; he guessed that she probably had all her meals perfectly done like this.

"I guess I'll give you the tour then, sound good?" Kurt asked Blaine.

"Sounds great." Blaine smiled and Kurt thought his heart would fly out of his chest and he would never see it again.

Kurt led him all around the house, showing him the bathrooms and Ellie's room, his library/office, which Blaine thought was amazing. It was a darkly lite room, as big as the living room and kitchen put together, with high ceilings and bookshelves along all the walls except one which held his desk which was covered in papers and a tiny lamp.

"I've always wanted a library in my house, ever since I saw _Beauty and the Beast_." Blaine said, gazing around the room in awe.

Kurt stifled a laugh, thinking that he and Ellie really will be best friends. "It's not nearly as big, but it keeps me sane. I don't know what I wouldn't do without my own space to clear my head."

"Yeah I defiantly know what you mean," Blaine told him, giving him the full force of his eyes before turning back to admire the books again.

Kurt caught his breath just in time to say, "So do you think you could email me your references tonight? When's the earliest you could start?"

"Yeah I could do that, and whenever you need me too, I'm here." Blaine said, smiling sweetly.

Kurt tried not to look at him when he answered, for fear that he would lose the ability to talk if he had to look at that smile anymore.

"Okay well if you can give me those and I can do a check so you could maybe start as early as tomorrow?" Kurt asked, running his fingers along the books.

"Sounds great. I really want to thank you, this is amazing that you accepted me so easily, I know this kind of happened fast," Blaine said so sincerely that Kurt had to look up, though he regretted it instantly. Blaine was a lot closer than he thought and the look in his eyes made Kurt's heart race faster than ever.

Kurt swallowed audibly and answered, "No problem, I can tell when someone is good at what they do."

"Well I really appreciate it," Blaine checked his watch and then continued. "Oh shoot! I've got to get going!"

"Of course, I'll show you out," Kurt lead him back to the front room where Ellie was just finishing her lunch. "Did you eat all your apples, princess?" Kurt asked her.

"Sure did!" Ellie told him, gulping down the last of her milk.

"Good girl," Kurt stroked her hair as she went to stand next to him.

"Are you leaving?" Ellie asked Blaine, looking up at him.

He crouched down to her level and smiled that winning smile. "Yeah I gotta go for right now, but I'll be back tomorrow, okay? We're gonna have a lot of fun."

"Okay...can I ask you something first?" Ellie asked, giving him a tentative look.

"Of course, ask away," Blaine smiled wider. Ellie shook her head and signaled for him to come closer, like when they were outside the school. Blaine's face became secretive as he nodded to her and put his ear out.

Kurt couldn't hear what she said this time but it must have been amusing because Blaine threw his head back and Ellie smiled, showing her dimple before Blaine went to her ear and answered her in a whisper, though Kurt heard more this time, it was something like "I do, very much, but I'm sure that's the best idea right now, okay?" Ellie nodded, her little face looking sad.

Blaine laughed again and stood up, smiling at Kurt as he said, "It was so nice to meet, and I'll see you both tomorrow." Blaine said, ruffling Ellie's hair playfully as Kurt lead him out.

"It was nice to meet you too, I'll be calling you either later tonight or tomorrow morning, okay?" Kurt told him, opening the door as Blaine waved goodbye to both of them with a smile and that was it.

Kurt closed the door with a soft click and immediately picked up Ellie, put her on the couch, and knelt down next to her.

"What did you ask him, sweetheart? " Kurt asked in a sweet voice that had an anxious undertone.

"Well first I asked him if he liked boys instead of girls like you, and then if he did, did he like you," Ellie explained in an innocent voice.

"YOU DID WHAT?" Kurt almost shouted.

"Well I can tell when you like someone daddy, it's kind of obvious, so I was just trying to help out," Ellie shrugged.

Kurt groaned and out his head down on the couch as Ellie stroked his hair comfortingly.

"I'm sorry daddy, but he did say he like boys! And he likes you! So isn't that great? No you can get married and live happily ever after!" Ellie exclaimed.

"I think you've been watching too many fairy tales," Kurt said into the couch. "He works for me, honey."

"So what?"

"So there's an unwritten law for this sort of thing."

"Well that's stupid! You like him that's all that should matter!" Ellie stomped her leg down on the couch, putting her bottom lip out.

"I couldn't agree with you more," Kurt sighed. "Come on, time for your nap."

"I'm not sleepy!" Ellie whined.

"Well you still have to rest, that's the rule," Kurt told her.

Kurt put her down with a little help from Dr. Seuss and then went into his office.

He tried to forget about Blaine and this afternoon as he went through his routine. At 3:30, the afternoon nanny came. Her name was Sarah. She was middle-aged widow; extremely pretty for her age; she never had kids of her own, which was a shame because she was so good with Ellie. He hated telling her that he had to let her go, but she was very happy for him and did not show her disappointment if she had any.

Then he went back to work. It was a strange feeling knowing that he would be gone from there in just a few short weeks.

He got home to Ellie watching _Aladdin _yet again as Sarah cleaned the kitchen.

He and Ellie said goodbye to her, Kurt promising that he would keep in touch. Then they nestled in to watch the rest of the movie, both snuggled up in the same blanket.

"Daddy?" Ellie asked as the magic carpet on the screen whizzed about the sky.

"Yes, princess?" Kurt answered.

"I really like Blaine, so if you wanted to marry him, that'd be okay," Ellie whispered eyes dropping just the slightest as she sunk lower in his arms.

Kurt smiled at her. "Thank you, princess, I'll keep that in mind," Kurt kissed the top of her head.

Kurt carried her to bed shortly after this. He went to his office, picked out a book, and went to bed as well.

But he didn't read the book at all. It lay on his nightstand, untouched. What he did do was think about was Blaine. In the short time they had spent together he felt like he had been in a dream. Like he had found his dream man when he had least expected it. Finding out he was gay felt like a sign of some sort, like maybe this is his shot at love.

But Kurt pushed these thoughts aside, he was being ridiculous. He picked the book up and started reading, telling himself that the only reason he was thinking these thinking these things was because he had been lonely lately. That's all. And that would be all.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! So I wrote this when I was really tired so I hope you like it! It means so much when you review and it really helps to get the chapter out! I'll try to have the new one out quicker and I promise we're getting to the good part soon, but I really don't want to rush it.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**OKAY! So I know that took forever but I'm really proud of this next chapter and I hope you love it too!**

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><p>The following day Kurt woke to a certain daughter of his jumping up and down on his bed.<p>

Kurt groaned and rolled away, putting a pillow over his ear.

"Daddy get up! Blaine's coming over today!" Ellie sang.

Kurt's mind started un-fogging immediately at the mention of Blaine's name. _Huh, _Kurt thought, _that really did happen. _

Kurt rolled over and smiled at Ellie before jumping up and snatching her from her jumps, tickling every part of her he could reach. They stayed like this for a while, Ellie laughing her lungs out and Kurt laughing evilly. When they had both had enough, Kurt finally surrendered to Ellie's laughed out pleas for him to stop.

"Okay giggle monster, how about some breakfast?" Kurt breathed, propping them both up on his bed.

"Okay!" Ellie exclaimed, jumping off the bed and running out of the room.

Kurt laughed softly to himself before remembering what was in store for him today. He had to see Blaine again today. He had to talk to him and look into those beautiful eyes again.

Knowing he was gay was only going to make it harder for Kurt to shut up his feelings. But he had to, and he knew that. Even if Blaine could ever possibly feel the same way about Kurt, he couldn't to that to himself...not again.

_No, _Kurt thought, _don't think about that. You have to stop doing this to yourself. _

Shaking off all these thoughts, Kurt went to get Ellie some breakfast, today a simple bowl of cheerios, and find Blaine's number so that he could tell him when he should come over today.

He found it on the table by the door and dialed the number, retiring to his room and curling back onto his bed.

Blaine answered on the fourth ring, his voice still groggy and rough, which sent shivers down Kurt's spine, which he forced himself to ignore.

"Hello?" Blaine practically growled into the phone.

"Hey, Blaine? It's Kurt," Kurt said tentatively.

"Oh! Kurt! Hey, how's it goin'?" said Blaine, sounding suddenly much more awake and Kurt heard the rustling of sheets, making him gulp.

"Great! I'm sorry to call so early but we have to be out the door by eight so..." Kurt finished lamely.

"Oh no, don't worry about it," Blaine replied sincerely. "So what's up?"

"Well I was wondering if you'd still be able to start with Ellie today?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah that'd be perfect! What time were you thinking?"

"I was thinking maybe arou-" Kurt started but was cut off by what sounded like the phone dropping and Blaine's muffled laughter followed by his far-away yell of what sounded like 'suck my dick' followed by another mans laugh and then his voice saying 'oh don't you remember? I already did that!'

Kurt's heart felt like it was sinking into his stomach. So he already had a boyfriend. _Of course he did, idiot, _Kurt thought, _Have you seen him?_ He was about to hang up when he heard the sound of the phone being picked up followed by Blaine's voice.

"Kurt? Sorry about that, my phone fell," he apologized.

Did he really think that Kurt hadn't heard his conversation?

"Oh, that's fine," Kurt lied. "So I usually pick up Ellie at twelve thirty, so do you think you could be here by one?" Kurt asked, still feeling very uneasy about what he had just heard.

"Yeah that'd be great! I'm really looking forward to it," Blaine told him as the same man from before mimicked Blaine in a very obnoxious tone.

Kurt pretended that he didn't hear him. Because that's what Blaine was doing, and that's how it should be, and that's how it would be. Kurt also knew that even if Blaine wasn't dating 'Mr. Obnoxious', Kurt wouldn't have done anything about their relationship anyway, because nobody would ever reciprocate his feelings. He had accepted that a long time ago.

"Great, Blaine, I'll see you then," Kurt said, trying to keep his voice as even as possible.

"Okay. 'bye, Kurt," Blaine answered cheerily back.

Kurt hung up before he could hear anything else from Blaine's mystery man. He set the phone down on the night stand next to him as he felt tears sneaking up in his eyes like snakes. He pushed them forcefully away. He would not let this happen. He'd gotten too far to betray himself like this. Not when everything was finally going his way. Kurt was not going down this road again.

So, brushing himself off, he went out into the main room where Ellie had turned on the television and was watching some cartoon.

"Come on honey, we gotta get ready," Kurt told her, getting a cup of coffee ready for himself, using instant because he didn't have the patience this morning.

"Did you talk to Blaine?" Ellie asked in a sneaky voice, perching herself on the stool in the kitchen and leaning towards him.

"Yes, I did. He will be here shortly after I pick you up from school," Kurt said nonchalantly, filling a kettle with water and turning on the stove.

"Did you talk about anything else?" Ellie suggested, moving her eyebrows up and down in an uncoordinated manner.

"No we did not, and I don't want you getting any more ideas about us, okay?" Kurt said sternly, poring the boiling water from the kettle into his mug.

"Okay I just think you guys would be really cute together is all," Ellie said sadly, sliding off the stool and padding to her room.

Kurt took a seat, sighing into his coffee as he read his favorite sections in this mornings paper.

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><p>The morning past without thought of what was coming for Kurt later that day. He focused on his work purposefully and productively.<p>

When it was time to up Ellie Kurt caught the subway as usual. He sat down on one of the many free seats, thanking god it wasn't rush hour where you could barely find a place to stand, and took out his iPod, putting it on shuffle as he settled into his usual people-watching state.

One set of people in particular caught his eye. They were two men. They were so enthralled with each other it was as if no one else in the world ever existed. Kurt couldn't imagine ever feeling that like that again. They were hardly even touching; they defiantly were not speaking at all. Kurt didn't understand, but he still felt a longing for this interaction. To have someone feel the exact way you feel for them. To feel a dizzying sense of being infinite at every second of time and every stage of life.

At the same time, he couldn't understand the bravery of these men. How could you possibly trust someone so much? And it's not as if you are trusting them with just one tiny part of your being. How do you give yourself, everything you are, to one other person, and not have an underline fear in every single move you make?

Kurt couldn't picture having the strength to do that with someone, no matter who it was. It seemed impossible, a fantasy.

At that moment the couple burst out laughing for no reason, and Kurt couldn't force back the tears this time. They came, and he sneaked them back away with his hands.

He stopped his people-watching for the rest of the ride.

He picked up Ellie and took them both home, where he made lunch for both of them while Ellie explained the goings on of her day. He then put her down for a nap and started cleaning up what little there was to clean up in his spotless apartment.

Then, at one o'clock on the dot, Blaine arrived.

The sound of someone knocking on the door startled Kurt away from dusting every surface in reach.

He practically ran to the door, fixing his hair in the mirror before stopping with an exasperated look at himself.

The smile on Blaine's face when Kurt opened the door was enough to make anyone's heart stop. But Kurt didn't let that happen, he had promised himself.

"Hey, Kurt! How's it goin'?" Blaine exclaimed as Kurt let him inside.

"Good, good. I'm kind of running late so just kind of make yourself at home. There's plenty of food in the kitchen, all of toys are over there," he signaled to the corner of the room, "and plenty of movies," he gestured to the shelves of films beside the T.V.

Blaine nodded at all of this. "Got it," he said, giving Kurt a reassuring smile.

"So I'll be home around seven. Ellie's taking a nap and usually wakes up around two," Kurt explained as he hurriedly gathered up his phone and backpack.

"Got it," Blaine said again and then continued in that annoyingly sincere voice he had, "I'm really happy to be here, Kurt."

"I'm happy you're here too," Kurt said, smiling back at him before making his way to the door and opening it. "I know you'll do great," Kurt said before going out the door.

Blaine smiled softly after him as he closed the door. He looked around the apartment trying to decide what he should do until Ellie woke up.

He decided television was probably the best way to go, so he sat down on the elegant couch and began flipping aimlessly through the channels.

An hour later Blaine had settled on a cooking program and was watching a woman in an expensive house cooking expensive food that no normal person would ever eat.

He was laughing at one of her mechanic phrases when he heard Ellie's bedroom door open.

She walked out into the room rubbing her eyes but when she saw Blaine a smile lite up her adorable features and she scampered up to the couch and plopped down on it.

"Hi, Blaine!" she exclaimed, bobbing up at and down on the couch.

"Hey there! Have a good nap?" Blaine asked her, turning down the television down and facing her on the couch.

"Alright. I don't really need them, but Daddy makes me," Ellie told him.

"Well I'm glad he does, or else you wouldn't have the energy to have a bunch of fun with me, right?" Blaine asked, smiling and clunking their heads together playfully.

"Yeah I guess," Ellie giggled out.

"So what do you feel like doing today?"

Ellie thought for a moment before answering, "Let's play house!" Ellie enthused, jumping up and pulling Blaine with her.

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><p>The rest of the day went similarly like this. Ellie had Blaine in the palm of her hand. Her adorableness was too much to resist, even for Blaine who was skilled at this sort of thing. Before he knew it he was getting fit for Ellie's hats and made to kneel down so he could reach everything in the play house. They had a tea party, where Blaine met all of the other guests (Ellie's stuffed animals) and their personalities in extensive detail.<p>

Blaine was so worn out by dinner time that he couldn't imagine how he was going to do this everyday. Through his tiredness he felt something else, and that's what made him know he could. Joy. In the time he hadn't been working with children he had grown to miss it more than he thought possible. It was also the Ellie of it all. He couldn't remember meeting a purer soul, and he couldn't comprehend how wonderful a parent Kurt must be.

Even in the short time he had seen the interactions between the two of them, he could see it. This made him wonder though. Why wasn't Kurt with anyone? He knew how adoption agencies worked, and if Kurt got Ellie when she was a baby, Kurt couldn't have done it alone. Besides the logic of it, he couldn't imagine anyone not wanting to be with him. Although he would never admit it to his boyfriend, he found Kurt incredibly attractive, and if he was being honest with himself, that was the only reason he noticed him on that busy street that day. He has an unique and forceful beauty about him and you would have to be blind not to see it.

Blaine had a sudden flash of himself and Kurt sitting in this apartment together, laughing at Ellie together in the living room, making love in _their _bedroom_, _cooking together in the kitchen, and going on adventures in the city, all three of them.

_Whoa, _Blaine thought, _that's new._

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><p><strong>YAY! So what did you think? Reviews are cures for writers block and very appreciated! Love you guys!<strong>_  
><em>


	4. Chapter 4

**So you don't have to tell me that I am the worst person in the world because I ALREADY KNOW AND I'M SO SORRY WOW. Really though I am the worst and I'm genuinely sorry. I'm getting out of school soon, so while that means I'll have time off, it also means that I get a lot more work. And when I'm not working I am sleeping or eating or..tumblring...I know that's really bad but I'm getting better at it and I've already started the next chapter so DON'T WORRY! I will never make you guys wait that long again. That's a promise. Enjoy :) This chapter is pretty intense so prepare your creys ;)**

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><p>That week went by incredibly fast. Blaine would come over every day at the same time, and Kurt was working longer hours, tying up loose ends as he prepared for his transfer.<p>

They had fallen into a routine with each other. At the end of each day Blaine would be so exhausted he barely had the energy to get off the couch where Kurt found him each night, dozing while only the TV lite up his perfect face, and each night Kurt would hesitate before waking him up, staring at it a little longer then necessary.

On Friday night, however, there was a change in the air between them. It might have been that Kurt was beginning to feel more comfortable around Blaine, and vice versa, or it could have been the fact that Kurt had had a couple of beers after work with his friends. Kurt never drinks, he decided that after he had Ellie, but tonight he broke that rule. He figured that he deserved to let himself go for a night, and he was comfortable enough with Blaine there now that he wasn't worried about Ellie.

Whatever the reason, there was a change, and you couldn't argue it.

Blaine was sitting sprawled out on the couch, dozing a little, not realizing he was still wearing an apron that was much too small, even for him, from when he and Ellie had played dress up. He was just falling asleep when the door burst open, revealing Kurt.

Blaine knew instantly there was something not right about him. The way he hung on the door too long and the goofy expression on his face was enough to tell that much.

When he saw Blaine his expression immediately became even goofier and he started giggling uncontrollably. In-between laughs he sputtered something like 'Nice apron', which made Blaine look down. Embarrassed, he quickly stood up, took it off, and went to hold Kurt steady as he was now having a hard time keeping his balance.

Blaine put his arm around Kurt and started to lead him to his bedroom, but when they reached the couch, Kurt instead fell out of Blaine's arm and slouched down onto it. When he was laying down, finally quiet, Blaine decided to just leave him there because he could see they weren't going to make it to Kurt's bedroom. He started putting a blanket from the chair by the couch onto Kurt, and he looked at Blaine as if he had just realized he was there.

Blaine smiled at him, and Kurt smiled back.

"You're pretty," Kurt said suddenly.

Blaine stifled a laugh and said, "Thanks and a...so are you Kurt, but...you wanna tell me how much you had to drink tonight?"

"'Ust a lil bit," Kurt said, putting his index finger and thumb together to signal this.

"Uh-huh," Blaine said softly, going to get some water and an aspirin from the kitchen.

When he came back, he made Kurt take the pill and drink the whole glass of water before sitting down beside him on the couch.

Kurt wasn't looking sleepy anymore, in fact, he looked pretty alert, for a drunk person that is, though he was still laying down.

"So you went out after work?" Blaine asked.

"Uh-huh. My friends from work wanted to take me out, so I let them...don't really know what I was thinking, I never drink," Kurt said, slurring his words only slightly.

"Well that's nice of them, you deserve a break. You do such a good job with Ellie and your work, you deserve to have some fun," Blaine said sweetly, patting Kurt's knee.

Kurt shrugged, yawning, sinking further into the couch.

Blaine looked at Kurt and instantly was reminded of his thoughts from earlier in the week. About how he got Ellie, and why he wasn't with anyone...but they seemed too personal to say out loud. Blaine wasn't sure how to ask them or if he even should. But right now...maybe he could right now. He knew taking advantage of Kurt's state was wrong, but he was too curious. It was now or never.

"Hey...Kurt?" Blaine asked tentatively, looking up at him from he eyelashes as he moved to sit so that he was facing him.

"Hmm?" Kurt asked, barely opening his eyes.

"I know this is really personal, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to.." Kurt still had his eyes closed, so Blaine went on, "but...how did you acquire..um..." Blaine paused, not really sure how to proceed.

After a few beats Kurt gave him some encouragement, eyes still closed, "Don't be shy, I'm all hears."

Blaine laughed nervously before continuing,"Okay um...I was just wondering..how did you manage to adopt Ellie? Or was it something else? A surrogate?"

Kurt's eyes immediately shot open at this, and then slowly closed again, sinking lower in the couch. He seemed to have regained consciousness to an extend.

"Why do you want to know?" Kurt asked, a little too nonchalantly.

"I was just curious...you really don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable at all," Blaine said quickly.

"Why would I be uncomfortable about it?" Kurt snapped, finally opening his eyes to glare at Blaine.

"I-I don't know you...just kinda seem.." He trailed off.

"Seem what, Blaine?" Kurt asked, raising his eyebrows and glaring at him for a minute longer. Then he sighed and leaned his head back, closing his eyes once more.

"I didn't adopt her alone," Kurt said in an emotionless voice.

Blaine was going to ask something else but then decided better of it and waited for Kurt to go on.

"I'll give you the Reader's Digest version." Kurt sighed.

"His name was Julian. I met him the summer after my senior year of high school," he continued in the same dull tone. "I hadn't had a boyfriend all through high school, so he was my first...everything," Kurt laughed bitterly.

"We met at a supermarket when I came up to New York for the first time to look for apartments close to where I was going to school. In our first conversation, when we realized we were both going to the same school, that was it. We were together. He was too charismatic for his own good, and mine too I guess," Kurt laughed that cold laugh again, and Blaine hated it. It wasn't the usual adorable, chiming giggle that he always had, it was like Blaine was seeing a whole another side to Kurt, one he didn't know existed.

After a pause, Kurt went on.

"We rushed into it, yes, but it felt right. I felt more right about him than I had about anything. More than myself, or my abilities, or anything. Looking back, that probably should have scared me. But in that moment, I was blind, blind to him and his lies, and blind to everything that wasn't Julian. We got through college in one piece, still madly in love, because of my blindness and because Julian had a way of worming his way out of every fight and every confrontation we had.

"When we got out of college I was ready to pursue my career. I was still blind, but I knew I wanted that. But Julian had other plans, and he always got his way. I had learned that a long time ago.

"He wanted to get married right away. It was right after marriage had been legalized in New York and he said that he wanted to celebrate by making me his forever, officially," Kurt paused, finally showing a bit of emotion in the telling of his story. He didn't look at Blaine though, even in his drunken state he still knew that once he had started telling the story, there was no going back.

"So I agreed. I hardly even thought it over, I just went along with whatever Julian wanted. It didn't matter that I still wanted to perform, it didn't matter that I could lose my dream. All that mattered was that I never lost him.

"It was no where near my dream wedding. The ceremony was one step down from eloping. I didn't even tell my dad about the wedding until after we had signed the papers," Kurt shook his head to clear it as best he could.

He realized that he hadn't thought about these things in years, and to be talking about it now, in front of the one guy he had felt attracted to since his ex, that should have blown his mind. But he shook it off quickly.

"After the wedding, things got surprisingly better for us." Kurt continued. "We hardly ever fought, and Julian was acting like he never had before in our relationship, not that I ever really saw any of his flaws in the first place.

"Only about a month had passed before Julian started talking about children. I was shocked to say the least. The topic had never come up and we were still so young...it was just all happening so fast. But after two more months of begging from him, I gave in. Like I always did.

"So we started looking for surrogates. And we found one within two months. She was a twenty year old beautiful woman who shared my love of acting and I instantly liked her and knew she was the one. Julian was more hesitant, but with some things I was good at persuading if I needed to_._

"I actually find it funny, now, that the two people that probably should have never been together in the first place got the best luck out of anyone else that would make great parents," Kurt shook his head and smiled an unhappy smile as Blaine continued to listen intently, shocked by Kurt's story and being curious and a little anxious about where it was going.

"About six months later, Ellie was born. I had been hesitant about being a father but when I saw that little face, I was walking on water," Kurt genuinely smiled for a moment before moving on. "Once we took Ellie home, however, Julian started acting strange.

"He started working more and more at his full time job at his Dad's law firm and I had to stay home with the baby. On his days off I would try to get him to help me out, and at first he started just telling me he was too tired, but after a few months he started things started getting stranger and stranger in regards to him.

"He would come home much later than his office hours, smelling like alcohol, and immediately go to bed. I never saw him, and when I did it always resulted in a shouting match.

"My days and weeks went by in the same routine. I would stay with the baby all day, Julian would come home every night black out drunk, I would try to confront him about it, and we would end up yelling so loudly our neighbors complained.

"He would tell me that I don't do anything all day, that he's doing everything for this family and I wasn't do anything, and I would come back with a response that left him huffing, until finally he or I went to bed and the other slept on the couch.

"Finally, one night, after a particularly exhausting day, Julian came home, drunk as usual, and we started in. I don't know what it was about this fight, it may have been the names he called me, or maybe I had finally had enough. Something set me off though, because in the middle of one of his drunken responses to my compacts, I screamed out that 'we're done' and when he looked confused, and annoyingly amused by my outburst, I told him that I wanted a divorce. That's when he first hit me," Kurt said.

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><p><strong>Uh-oh! So what'd you think? I know my chapters are really short but I just NEEDED to get this out! Reviews are very much appreciated! Thank you so much for your feedback so far and for sticking with me through my ups and downs! :D<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

We meet again!

As excuses go, I have a good one. My sister had a baby about 4 months ago and I've had to help so much because she's living with me and my mom. So on top of all the fun things I've done this summer I've had to have been taking care of a baby, which is a lot harder then a lot of people know haha.

Seriously no worries though because my best friend is very committed to me writing and has been giving me deadlines for my chapters and will continue to do that so they will be coming quicker and quicker from now on! And I wrote another chapter after this so I hope that kind of makes up for it. My next deadline is Sunday and I'm sure after chapter 6 you'll be itching for it! I really appreciate all of your comments, even the not-so-nice ones. It's really flattering and I really hope you guys will still review and enjoy! :D

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><p>The next morning Kurt woke up with an enormous headache and no memory of what had happened the previous night.<p>

He stalked out of his bedroom, hating the birds chirping loudly outside almost as much as he hated himself for going out last night. Before heading to the kitchen where he would no doubt be pouring gallons of coffee down his throat, along with some more water and an aspirin, he checked on Ellie, who, as he had guessed, was sleeping in just as she did every Saturday morning.

After filling the coffee pot with water and starting the machine and taking the much-needed aspirin, he downed the rest of the water, and went to lay down in the living room, where he thought he could pass the time before Ellie woke up by watching TV. He started flipping through the channels, but he really didn't feel in the mood for anything that was on this early. Muting the television, he rolled over on his back and closed his eyes.

Suddenly, he was reminded of something...of laying exactly like this, only with a certain beautiful curly haired man sitting above him, asking about things..things he hadn't thought about in years..and he had told this man, this stranger really, everything.

Kurt sat bolt upright, eyes wide and heart beating out of his chest.

No, no this could not be happening. How could he have been so stupid! The first time he drinks in a year and he ends up spilling his darkest secrets to his extremely attractive babysitter!

He's trying to calm down when the buzzer to the coffee maker goes off, startling him. He forces himself up, his head still aching and now it's not just from his hang over but also from the memories of last night. What was still bothering him was that he couldn't quite recall exactly what he had let slip to Blaine. He knew for sure that he had at least told him about Julian...but he didn't know that specifics.

Kurt was just getting his favorite mug out of the pantry("World's Greatest Dad" which his father had gotten him for Ellie's third birthday, which Kurt had thought was very sweet and hardly used any of his other beautifully crafted mugs) when Ellie came running in, holding her favorite stuffed animal of Winnie the Pooh, wearing her favorite pink nightgown. Kurt opened his arms wide with a "Good morning, sweetheart" as she happily fell into them. He picked her up and whirled her around as she giggled with glee.

"Did you sleep good?" he asked, setting her down and leaning against the counter, sipping at his coffee.

"Alright, I guess," she said with a dramatic sigh, perching herself up on the stool and leaning on her elbows.

"What's the matter?" Kurt asked, furrowing his brow and taking another sip.

"Well I don't know if I should tell you because I don't want you to do be mad..." Ellie blurted out very fast, avoiding his gaze.

"Oh Ellie, I could never be mad at you honey, you should never be afraid to tell me anything, no matter how bad it is." he assured her.

"Okay.." Ellie started slowly, "Well I was having a hard time sleeping last night and I heard you come home and...I heard all the stuff you told Blaine about my other dad..." she trailed off, finally meeting Kurt's eyes with a shy gaze.

"Oh honey," Kurt said, putting down his coffee and going around the counter to sit next to his daughter.

"You remember me and you talking about him, right?"

"Yeah I remember you said that he treated you really bad and that you didn't think he would be a very good daddy for me, and that's why you aren't still together." Ellie recited.

"That's right. Now I can't have said much more then that last night, right?" He asked, trying to hide his nervousness.

"Well yes...you said that he hurt you...that he hit you.." Ellie finally said.

"Okay honey, I want you to tell me exactly what you heard me say to Blaine."

"You said that you met Julian in college and that you really liked each other," Kurt nodded, all of it coming back to him, "and then you got married, you had me with a surr-surra-sur-"

"Surrogate," Kurt finished for her.

"Yeah that. And then you started fighting more and then you said that he really did fight with you...or you said that he hit you...and then I couldn't hear anymore. A little while later I heard the front door close and I figured Blaine must have left."

I must have fallen asleep, Kurt thought, feeling a weight lifting off his shoulders. At least he knew where he stood.

"I'm so sorry you had to hear that, princess," Kurt said, hugging his daughter into his lap and resting his cheek against her dark hair. "But I promise that you don't have to worry about anything, I will never let that man get near us, okay?"

"Okay Daddy. But that's not really what I'm sad about," Ellie said against his chest.

"Then what is it, princess?" Kurt asked.

"I was just sad that he did that stuff to you in the first place. I wish I could have been there to tell him to stop."

Kurt's eyes welled up. It was moments like these that he felt the proudest of his little girl. He had no idea where she learned to be so caring, but he had heard enough about his mother and spent enough time with his father to know that it ran in the family.

"That's very sweet of you, baby," Kurt told her, planting a kiss to her hair and then putting her back on her own stool. "Now, what do you say about a visit to Grandpas?"

Ellie jumped out of the chair immediately with a loud "Yes!" and scurried to her room, Pooh swinging behind her as she rushed off to her room to no doubt go pick out an outfit.

Kurt smiled to himself as he pushed himself up and took his coffee into his bedroom to take a much needed shower and get himself ready.

An hour later, the two Hummel's were brushed, bathed, fed, clothed and ready to go. Ellie was in the car, playing with her barbies as she and Kurt set off on the hour-long drive to Kurt's father, Burt's, house.

Once Kurt had decided that he would stay in New York after everything with Julian, Burt had decided that he needed to be closer to his son. He did not, however, find New York as appealing as Kurt did, and neither did his wife, Kurt's step-mom, Carole. So, about four years ago, he and Carole and moved to the closest suburbia to the city so that Kurt could visit without such a long drive and vice-verse. Kurt tried to make it up every other weekend.

Ellie was the first one out the car when they reached Burt and Carole's moderate house in the quietest neighborhood they could find.

"Daddy, come oooon!" Ellie whined. She was wearing her nicest pink dress, with her long hair in pig tails and her princess backpack glued to her back.

"Hold your horses, little missy," He teased as he climbed out of the car, thermos full of coffee in one hand and his darkest sunglasses hiding his eyes from the blinding sun.

"I don't have a horse," was always her retort to this comment.

Kurt laughed as they made it to the door. He knocked on the door and within a few seconds, Carole was standing in the door way, the biggest smile on her face.

Ellie screamed, "Grandma!" And ran into her arms the same moment Carole opened up hers.

"Well look who it is!" Carole enthused, hugging her tight as Kurt caught Burt walking up behind Carole, his arms open.

"There's m' boy," Burt said, smiling at Kurt, who stepped around Carole and Ellie who were now talking excitedly together.

Burt wrapped Kurt up in one of his bear hugs and then proceeded to lead him to the kitchen, where they sat around the table and started to catch up while Carole and Ellie played with Ellie's toys on the floor in the living room.

"So, who'd you go out drinking with last night?" Burt smirked.

Kurt laughed nervously, "How'd you know?"

"Well, for starters you're wearing sunglasses indoors," Burt told him.

"Just some people from work," Kurt sighed, giving it up.

"Uh-huh. You can tell me if you went out with someone, Kurt. It'd be about time. Just as long as it's not some guy that's gonna end up bein' like that horrible son of a-"

"Dad!" Kurt said, signaling with his head over to Ellie and Carole playing and laughing together.

Suddenly Ellie looked up.

"You don't have to worry about Daddy going out with someone bad, Grandpa, Daddy likes my babysitter. But he won't go out with him because of the unwritten laws." Ellie said from her seat on the ground, and then continued playing with Carole, who had a small smile on her lips.

Burt gave Kurt a questioning look. Kurt just shook his head.

They had Ellie's favorite dinner, spaghetti with meatballs, and, after some delicious cookies and milk, she was out like a light. This happened every time they visited so every time the three of them could have some adult time while Ellie slept on the couch in front of the television.

"So, Kurt, what's going on with you and this babysitter?" Carole asked. She asked it in such a way that implied she had been waiting all night to get more details on his mystery man.

"Nothing, really. He's just very attractive and...I don't know, he's really good with Ellie, she loves him. I think it's just her little fantasy that we get together." Kurt explained, his blush giving away more then he wished to tell.

"Oh, he must be really dreamy," Carole whispered to Burt, loud enough for Kurt to hear, who nodded.

"Ugh!" Kurt whined, looking down.

Will no one leave him alone about this?

The subject was dropped eventually and turned into more about his new job and how he loved every single second of it. After about a half an hour, however, he decided it was probably time to get Ellie home and thanked them for having him over, promising to call a lot and he'd see them in two weeks.

They got home around midnight, Kurt putting Ellie into her bed and then getting himself to bed too, but as he walked into his bedroom, he was overcome with loneliness yet again and in that moment he wished for someone to come put him out of his funk, for someone to put an end to this feeling, this need, this misery

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><p>Review, review, review!<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

The first of this chapter is in Blaine's POV kind of! Enjoy!

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><p>Blaine woke up Saturday morning to someone lips brushing over his, down his jaw, before sucking on his earlobe, whispering,<p>

"Morning, sleepyhead."

Blaine was disoriented at first, though he didn't know why. Mika woke him up like this almost every time they spent the night together.

But then Blaine remembered the dream he had had, and the other lips he had dreamed of...the perfectly shaped red lips that he knew could probably reduce him to a blubbering mess if he could ever get close enough.

_Stop it._

Blaine rolled over, moving himself so that he was on top of his boyfriend.

"Morning,"Blaine smirked back, leaning his face in to giving Mika a kiss.

They kissed for a minute, Blaine finally pulling away, claiming he needed a shower.

"You smell fine to me," Mika said breathlessly, rolling them back over so that he was on top, continuing to kiss Blaine's neck and jaw, hitting all of Blaine's special places that made him moan and knit his hands through Mika's thick hair. After about a minute of sucking on Blaine's Adams apple, he started to move lower, kissing Blaine's muscular chest. Blaine really didn't want him to stop, but his ID was long overdue and he had promised himself that he would take care of it today and, as much as he tried, he couldn't stop picturing a different set of lips doing what Mika was now doing to his hyper-sensitive body

"Mika," Blaine gasped, "I have stuff to do."

Mika sighed against Blaine, finally stopping himself and resting his chin on Blaine's chest so that he could look up at Blaine with his puppy-dog eyes.

Blaine laughed as Mika sat up on his knees, still tangled up in the sheets and his gaze never leaving Blaine's as his bottom lip swallowed his top one in a pout.

"I'll make it up to you tonight," Blaine told him, pecking him on the cheek and heading to the bathroom to get ready.

After showering and getting dressed in causal jeans and a button-up for his meeting, Blaine quickly teased his curls, not bothering to gel today, and headed toward the sound and smell of a delicious breakfast.

This was a ritual of sorts between the two men. Every morning that they woke up together, one of them would make breakfast for the other, depending on what they had to do that day. Neither one was sure how it started, but in the year they had been dating it had slowly become their thing, something that was constant and very sweet.

Mika was standing in the kitchen, wearing a pair of Blaine's sweatpants and nothing else so that his very tan and fit upper body was exposed. At first glance you would probably write Mika off as a model. He had thick dirty blonde hair that was never neat, a body that any man would die for, the perfect height(about three inches taller than Blaine, which Blaine really didn't mind and had gotten over finding someone his own height), and a style that looked like it belonged on a magazine. But once you looked closer at his real features, he really was a complex and unique looking man, which Blaine loved most about his boyfriends looks.

"Smells delish',babe," Blaine said, coming up behind Mika and wrapping his arms around his waist.

"It better,"Mika said, turning around and wrapping his hands around Blaine's neck before kissing him on the nose and turning back around to focus on the breakfast.

Mika had cooked Blaine's favorite, simple bacon and eggs. Blaine didn't have much time so once it was done cooking, he quickly pulled the plate Mika laid out for him toward him and started putting it away, paying no attention to the burning to the roof of his mouth. While Blaine was eating and Mika was drinking his coffee, they chatted about this and that. Blaine kept silently praying that one subject in particular would not come up. But, eventually, after exhausting the subject of Mika's classes (he was still in school earning his masters in film theory) and plans for next weekend, the subject Blaine had been dreading had come to call.

"So, how's the nanny gig going?" Mika asked, sipping his coffee and looking at the paper absently.

Blaine froze mid chew, eyes going wide for just a second before beginning to chew furiously, shoveling more food into his mouth so that there was no way any emotion whatsoever could be heard in this tone when he said-

"S'fine."

Mika, who had not noticed Blaine's original reaction at his question, looked up from his paper with as suspicious look at Blaine. He knew how Blaine acted when he was deflecting.

"That's all? Just fine?" Mika asked.

"Yea ims jusa sob," Blaine said through a mouthful of egg.

"I'm sorry?" Mika asked, still giving Blaine a worried look though Blaine was looking anywhere but his eyes.

Blaine swallowed but still didn't look into his eyes. "It's just a job, no big deal. Pays decent," Blaine shrugged then began to scrape his plate clean.

"Hm," was Mika's retort.

"Yeah, well I guess I better get going," Blaine said, standing up and going to the sink to clean his plate before snatching up his wallet and phone, giving Mika a kiss on the cheek and heading out the door.

It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Mika everything, he really did, but in the year they had been dating, Blaine had learned that his boyfriend didn't take news about other men in his life very well, and Blaine was always worried about upsetting him, as it was sometimes easy to do. But Blaine loved Mika, and he had learned to look past his faults and focus on his many good qualities.

As for Kurt, he really didn't know where they stood. But he wanted to know, which is why he did what he did next.

XXX

On Sunday Kurt woke up to the pitter patter of little feet running down the hallway towards Kurt's room. He heard a little knock on the door and was suddenly struck by an idea.

He got out of bed and quietly made his way to the other side of the door. Not hearing an answer for a while, Ellie must have decided that Kurt was still asleep and decided to go and fix this. A little face peaked through the door and slowly after a little body dressed in a blue night gown and clutching a stuffed kitten as the same moment a voice yelled "Boo!".

Ellie jumped ten feet in the air and whipped around to find her daddy coming at her, scooping her up and plopping her on the bed, tickling her everywhere he could reach as she giggled.

"Daddy, you scared me!" Ellie told him after he finally let her free and she sat up on the bed.

"I'm sorry, honey. Your just too easy," Kurt laughed.

Ellie stuck out her tongue at him before running past him to watch TV now that her duty of waking her daddy up was completed.

After breakfast Ellie went to her bedroom to play with her toys while Kurt went to his office to work on some things and check his emails.

Kurt picked up his phone to text his brother to find out what his schedule was this week, and found a voice mail from yesterday morning that he must have missed while he was at his parents. He clicked on it and just about dropped him phone when he read who it was from.

What could Blaine possibly have wanted to say to him on his day off? Was he going to say that Kurt had made him so uncomfortable that he wanted to quit?

Kurt nervously pressed the play button, not really ready for what he was about to hear.

"Hey, Kurt! It's Blaine! So I know that my next day for work is Monday, but you've been so nice to me and I really want you to know that I appreciate it, and that I want us to be friends. So I was hoping that maybe tonight or tomorrow we could all have dinner. You, me, and Ellie. Anyway, I hope you enjoy your day off and let me know about dinner! Bye, Kurt."

Kurt put down his phone, mouth open and head spinning. Had he imagined the other night? It didn't seem possible that Blaine could be acting so normal after having witnessed his boss that way. He sounded just as charming as ever. And the way he said goodbye...It made Kurt's spine tingle and goose bumps rise on his forearms. Blaine said his name as if he had been saying it all his life...like his throat had been aching and the only thing that could cure the burn was to speak Kurt's name.

After a few moments of sitting in shock, and a few more minutes of replaying the message over and over, Kurt knew he had to make his mind up. He didn't even know if the offer was still okay, and he didn't know if he should accept the offer, but he knew what he wanted to do. He knew that he wanted to spend more time with Blaine. He wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. So, deciding on going with the selfish choice, Kurt called Blaine.

This made Kurt feel better and worse all at the same time. On one hand, the pressure was off; he didn't have to think about the perfect thing to say or worry about putting the charm on, he could just be himself. On the other hand, he knew that he really liked Blaine, even if he still barely knew him. He just felt comfortable around him. He hadn't felt that way about a man in a long time, and now that he knew that Blaine was willing to forget about that night where Kurt had revealed his most secret secrets, Kurt could just relax and have a good time. Which he planned on doing.

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><p>Review! New chapter next week!<p> 


	7. UPDATES

Hello all! Sorry if you thought this was a new chapter but I really just need to get some information out there before I start writing again.

First of all I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you guys. I've had a really busy year and I've had to focus on my studies and some other important things in my life.

HOWEVER, I really am looking to start doing something creative again, especially with the summer coming up. So I guess what I'm asking is do any of you really want me to keep going with this story? Leave me a comment and let me know! I'd really appreciate it and it would give me some motivation.

ALSO, I think if I'm going to do this I want to do it right. That means having a real beta who will keep me going and fix all my mistakes, especially with little things like grammar and spelling errors. Let me know if you're interested!

I'm really excited to get back into this story or if you guys think I should just scrap it then getting into a new story!

Keep in touch lovelies! :) xoxo

-Kathleen


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